Kripplng Tumbls

Holy crip it’s a crapple!

For those of you curious as to why I am a cripple, its quite simple. I am the product of an illegitimate love affair between my mother and Jerry Lewis. At least, I think that’s what happened, all I know is I’m one of Jerry’s Kids.

Being one of Jerry’s Kids I’d like to remind everyone that the MDA Telethon is just around the corner starting on August 31st and of course ending on Labour Day. For the past eon I’ve collected money for MDA doing everything from going door-to-door, doing 50/50 raffles, acting really crippled and desperate in front of stock brokers, but mostly I relied heavily on friends and family.

Yeah, you can see where this is going, can’t you? That’s right ladies and jellyspoons, I’m..BEGGING!

The MDA recently set up online donations via a sponsor. I would really love if anyone could help out. Any amount helps, even a dollar. If you’re curious where your money would be going, here are some ways your donation would be used:

• $85 funds one minute of research
• $100 funds one support group session
• $200 funds one clinical diagnostic exam
• $800 sends one child to MDA Summer Camp
• $2000 helps purchase a wheelchair, leg braces or communication devices

By the way, $2000 for a wheelchair? Yeah, for a manual chair, maybe. However, once you get to power chairs, such as the one I have with many customizations, you can pay upwards of $20,000. Let me also add that the MDA Summer Camp was some of the most fun I’ve ever had. A bunch of gimps hanging out in the woods for a week, what’s not to love?

Anywho, I would be forever greatful if you could donate even a little bit (of course the more the merrier). Hell, if you donate and live in Tucson I promise to take you out for a beer once I turn 21 in December.

Also, to my fellow Tusconans: I will be on the telethon on KGUN 9 sometime during the last segment starting around 1:20 on Monday the first. I’ll be the one with the kick-ass fedora.